She Is In A Peace

The​ ​fall​ ​has​ ​begun-​ ​I​ ​think​ ​some​ ​of​ ​you​ ​might​ ​agree​ ​with​ ​me​ ​that​ ​the​ ​weather​ ​has​ ​been​ ​crazy. ​ ​Like​ ​a​ ​roller coaster. ​ ​At​ ​least, ​the​ ​leaves​ ​turns​ ​into​ ​fall​ ​colors​ ​which​ ​I​ ​love! ​ ​I​ ​can’t​ ​believe​ ​we’re​ ​halfway​ ​to​ ​January.  Unbelievable, ​ ​right?   

By​ ​unbelievable, ​​not​ ​just​ ​how​ ​time​ ​flies​ ​but​ there are something​ ​I’ve​ ​been​ ​dealing​ ​with.    

“Have​ ​I​ ​not​ ​commanded​ ​you? ​ ​Be​ ​strong​ ​and​ ​courageous. ​ ​Do​ ​not​ ​be​ ​afraid;​ ​do​ ​not​ ​be​ ​discouraged, ​ ​for​ ​the​ ​​LORD  your​ ​God​ ​will​ ​be​ ​with​ ​you​ ​wherever​ ​you​ ​go.” ​ ​Joshua​ ​1:9   

22815644_780612118785437_8922435955681366779_nThe last weekend of October is really tense. On Friday at four in the morning, Costa Rican familia called and informed mom, “it is the time.” No one knows when. ​I don’t like the idea of waiting for her to go. On Saturday, they keep updated about her. Until that night, it become closer and closer of her time. Those days are very emotional. I look up and said, “take her with You.”

In the end, on Sunday- she passed away.

​I​ ​remember​ ​when​ ​I​ ​got​ ​the​ ​news, the first thing on my mind is run away from anybody. ​But​ ​I​ ​didn’t.​ Instead, ​I​ ​held​ ​in​ ​and​ ​drove​ ​to​ ​the​ ​church​ ​as​ ​if​ ​I​ ​can​ ​handle​ ​this​ ​just​ ​fine.​ ​When​ ​I​ ​told​ ​my​ ​sister​ ​and​ ​others​ ​the​ ​news,​ ​that​ ​moment​ ​I​ ​feel​ ​bottling​ ​up​ ​more and​ ​more.​ ​The​ ​truth​ ​is,​ ​I’ve​ ​been​ ​holding​ ​in for​ ​a few months​ ​because​ ​I​ ​knew​ ​she​ ​was​ ​sick.​ ​I​ ​hoped​ ​to​ ​see​ ​her​ ​​when​ ​I fly​ ​to​ ​Costa​ ​Rica​ ​next​ ​year​ ​since I haven’t seen her for more than five years and​ ​she​ ​left​ ​too​ ​soon.​ ​So,​ ​I​ ​broke​ ​down​ ​in​ ​front​ ​of​ ​them​ ​and​ ​my​ ​sister​ ​comforts​ ​me. 

After​ ​church,​ ​on​ ​the​ ​way​ ​home-​ ​I​ ​catch​ ​a​ ​glimpse​ ​of​ ​​the​ ​birds​ ​flying​ ​in​ ​the​ ​sky,​ ​I​ ​immediately​ ​realize ​that​ ​is from​ ​God. ​ ​He​ ​send​ ​those​ ​birds​ ​to​ ​give​ ​me​ ​a​ ​message​ ​that​ ​she​ ​is​ ​with​ ​Him.​ ​Although, ​it​ ​is really​ ​rough for​ ​me​ ​because​ ​the​ ​process​ ​of​ ​grieving​ ​is​ ​not​ ​easy. Then, I comprehend the verse, Joshua 1:9. God wanted me for my great grandma: be strong and courageous. He didn’t want me to be afraid or discouraged because she finally reunites with my great-grandpa after 18 years.

With​ ​being​ ​said, I decide to keep going through the pain in a positive way because she’s in a peace than suffer. Someone told me: I’m just moving into acceptance that she is not here. ​She will be missed and will always remember in my heart. She has lived a very long life and see each of us growing up. Familia is all she had. I’m truly grateful to have her in my life. For sure, I will see her again along with my great grandpa. 

I know I’m not alone in this.​ ​For those who’s with me through together, I’m fortunate​ ​to​ ​have​ ​you​.​ ​​ ​Your​ ​love​ ​and​ ​support​ ​is​ ​what​ ​keeps​ ​me​ ​going​ ​as​ ​well​ ​as God​ ​is​ ​with​ ​me,​ ​too.

 

I love you,
my beautiful great grandma
.
22815500_10214542050569099_4814296302393822901_n

 

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One thought on “She Is In A Peace

  1. Pingback: A Lovely News

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